To Wives
Today is my 11th wedding anniversary. I am currently writing this as I prepare to board a plane to Florida, to go and support two of my athletes who are participating in their first race, Ironman Florida 70.3.
The day that Jess and I got married I was 27 years old, smoked cigars, weighed 270 pounds, and was in deep denial about the state of my hairline. She was young and beautiful. To say I was a little out of my league was an understatement. She must have thought that I was funny or something. We were young and we were in love.
As it turns out, Jess is the original endurance athlete of the Fleck house. My first time ever being anywhere near a starting chute or finish line was when I would show up to one of the road races she was doing. I remember watching her finish a half marathon when my second daughter was just a baby, and being so inspired by her that I was almost moved to tears (definitely was). Somewhere, deep down, having that experience was one of the biggest motivations to get myself to the start line. So basically it is all her fault (JK, love you).
I hear and read a lot about people trying to live a passionate life. To find something that makes you happy and do it. The old cliche, if you find a job you love, you will never work another day in your life. While I do love what I do, it is not without sacrifice. Mostly the sacrifices of my wife, Jess. I try my best to not let training get in the way of being a husband or dad. I justify it to myself in many ways. The real truth though, is that, that is bullshit. Jess picks up the slack for me constantly. She manages the house, she makes cinnamon rolls every Saturday by herself, while I am God knows where on my bike. She puts up with me responding to endless texts from my athletes. Many a weeknight she will find me asleep in our bed by 8:30. She has traveled all over the world, showing everyone how a real sherpa does it, dragging a flock of beautiful Fleck girls through the crowds to get to see their dad cross a finish line. I have chased a crazy dream of putting time, energy, and money into getting Here and Now up off the ground. She has supported me throughout. If anyone ever asked me what love really is, I would cite the example that she has set. She has watched me chase a dream, although she knows it is crazy, all the while supporting me because she can see the happiness it brings me and that is enough for her.
Last week we got to run Cohasset Road Race (virtual edition) together, and it was the first time she had run any kind of organized race in many years. To see her get out there and do something hard, challenging herself, surrounded by friends and family, reminded me of the ethos of what I try to embody at Here and Now.
So, off I go to Florida, on a guys weekend, while she is at home covering a weekend of spring sports and cinnamon rolls. I am a different person than the one she married 11 years ago. Sometimes we joke, which one was “really” better. My only hope is that I can inspire people the way she inspired me, including those closest to me. I suppose, when I get back from Florida I should also do something nice for her, but I will probably be too tired. For now, off to the races…..